Sooner or Later

lyrics by Michael Tolcher:

"Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
Try not to say anything weird
Save your questions without answers
'Til your old enough to know that things ain't as they appeared

Before you go out in the sun
Cover your skin and don't get burned
Beware the cancer, it might kill you when you're old

Be first in line, raise your hand
Remember everything you hear
And playing in the rain is worth catching cold

We only want what's best for you
That's why we tell you what to do
And nevermind if nothing makes sense

'Cause it all works out in the end
You're just like us without a friend
But you can build a privacy fence Yeah

Somethings you have to learn them all on your own
You can't rely on anybody else
Or the point of view of a source unknown
If it feels good and sounds nice
Then it's your choice don't doubt yourself
Don't even think twice

Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
You know they like it when you smile Find a reason to smile

Try not to focus on yourself
Share that love with someone else
Don't let the bitters bring you down
Don't let anything bring you down"

This song has been running through my head the past week. I listen to it and think about the advice I have always gotten from adults in my life when I was much younger. And I remember thinking, 'what do they know' or 'why won't they just answer me,' and it bugged me. Sometimes adults would give me platitudes, such as 'you'll know when you are older.' Well, I am older, and guess what, I still don't know. I don't know why bad things still happen. I don't know why people focus on hurting others with words or weapons. I don't know what I am quick to anger the moment I get behind the wheel of a car.

Sometimes adults, especially my mom, would give me blanket advice, like 'never let anyone tell you that you can't.' Yep, hold my head high and stand strong in the face of objections, ridicule, pressure, arrogance, or anger. It's tough when someone calls you out and tells you they think you got it all wrong, or when they flat out disagree, or when they try to convince you of something other than what you believe. Kinda difficult to do, but I keep this quote close to my heart, 'character means standing up for something, even it means you stand alone.'

Then, when I was in college, I joined a fraternity. I was a youngster, and an older member in the house, when I was particularly stressed about soccer, school, and the house, sat me down and showed me a plaque that his dad gave him. It carried this simple message: IN THE RACE TO BE BETTER OR BEST, DO NOT MISS THE JOY OF BEING. Of all the advice I have gotten, most of it became hardwired into who I am (manners, compassion, measure twice cut once, and so on), this nugget is something I have to remind myself of. It is easy to get wrapped up in the pursuits of life, but what really matters is this wonderful gift of just being alive. And we didn't have to do anything to get it. It came free.

So, sooner or later, we will find the answer to everything. Sooner or later, we will think about one another. Sooner or later, we will figure out just who we are. And sooner or later, I will stop yelling when I am driving.