A lot has been weighing on me lately. Crazy trial schedules and appointments as the lawyer for children. Youth group imploded and I let it happen - cost me some youth - but nothing is perfect (and I expected that I would have a flop youth meeting at least once this year). My family is still family with all the quirks that they have. And with all that, I am still trying to figure out who I am. I hit a point in life where I needed to redefine. I think that is what makes my job with youth ministry a bit easier - the youth are all finding themselves and where they are going in life. I have the benefit of my years of experience to guide me. So, when we all talk, they get a sense that I know what they are going through.
I sat down and gave a more thoughtful prayer than I usually do. I don't do formal prayers, outside of church. I pray as I go, praise as it happens, reach out as the event is occuring. I imagine God saying, "Sean, breathe. Take a moment, write it all down, then call me." It's just me - impatience is something that's part of me. It's not that I don't know how to wait. I just want to move forward on it if I can. I wrote this one down and asked God to shine a little light on things for me - give me a general idea where to take things. He hasn't let me down so far in my life, so it's a safe bet I won't be lead astray.
Anyways, this wasn't meant to be a preachy blog or even a prayerful one. It's a placeholder to remind me to get myself back on track. Trials come and go. Youth meetings should flow, not be carved out. Family is a good thing. It's a reminder that I have something to do still - and when I figure it all out, it will be a pretty cool picture. I just wish that one friend was there to give me the "cheerleading" words that I used to get from him. I miss that.
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