calls, christians, carnality, and cartoons

Gentle readers, are you guys lucky today. No, that was not a question, that was an observation about the cornucopia of things you are going to read today. I am feeling rather wordy today and had a lot of interesting observations. Let's begin, shall we?

First, I was on public transportation today. It's quick, it's cheap, and I hate driving to the city. Being that it is public transportation, I have grown rather accustomed to certain annoyances (nail trimming, booger picking, ass scratching, etc. - yes - people do this on the train). What I still have trouble with is cell phones. I accept that I have to share my ride, that's why it's called PUBLIC transportation. I can even understand the short business call, or the "I'm on my way" call. What gets irritating is the guy or gal who sets up their mobile office and conducts, in a LOUD voice, all their business. If you haven't completed your work at the office, stay the FUCK there and finish it. I don't really care if Jack in Kansas fouled up the shipping order, or if Susie in accounting has to check those numbers. Fuck off - we are trying to get home and be AWAY from work. What is worse is the person who talks for the entire train ride to a friend about absolutely nothing. Ignore it, you say? Oh, if only I could, but this person also is an ass clown with no concept of personal borders. Also, this person says things that I wouldn't even say alone without making sure no one else could hear (possible topics: who's fucking who, whether your friend has genital warts, etc.) Whenever people like me complain about these cell phone users, the response is always, "hey, it's public transportation." Yeah, and you, cell phone fuck face, are part of the public, not its entirety. Hang up the phone bitches.

So while Suzy the Whore is on her phone call, I read two interesting stories about God in the paper. The first story was about a woman who lost everything in New Orleans because of Katrina. So this destroyed woman did what anyone would do. She went to the casino, put $20 on a slot machine, and of course, won $1.6 million. First, WTF? Maybe I am just rational, but why blow your money in a casino and reinforce stereotypes. However, this is not the good part. The good part is knowing that God is going to smite this woman again. What does she say to the press after she wins? She says, "My feeling about this win is better than being blessed." Allow me to translate what she really said, "Fuck you God, I'm back on top." After reading this fantastic piece of faith, I turn two pages and get another religious shock. Apparently, we are so lazy that we need the Bible translated into the imporant language of "cell phone slang." This warrants attention because the Bible Society of Australia has undertaken the task of translating all 31,173 verses of the Bible into cell phone speak (4 God so luvd da wrld.) . Apparently, after God smacks down this New Orleans woman, he is going to have knock on Australia's door. Do we need this kind of translation? I don't know, but if there's any money in it, please look for my pig latin version of the Bible (it comes with a free slot machine token).

I finished my business downtown and met up with TJ, his husband, and their son. We rode the train back to my town so that I could take them over to TJ's sisters. This part of my post is about gay marriage because the discussion began on the train, when some woman asked the three of us who was the father of the "cute, little baby." TJ explained that he and Brian were the dads. This woman was angry and taken aback. She and TJ had words and I chimed in. TJ is my friend, and I love him like a brother (Brian's okay too, but I knew TJ longer). I thought about my own close-mindedness when I was younger. And I thought, "this baby right here is getting a taste of hatred and unreasoned bigotry." Now, I am not a poster child or a cause person, but I don't really get this hatred of gay marriage. Who cares? Decades ago, blacks and whites couldn't marry. Marriage has caused more problems that it helps, so why not let people marry whom they love. My real fear is this - there are yahoos who want to amend the US Constitution to define marriage. FUCK THAT!!! If we start down this road, we are going to use the constitution to define and regulate all sorts of things unrelated to marriage. Please don't allow that to happen. Remember the last time the Constitution was used to define behavior - it was called Prohibition. Be careful when you let blind ignorance lead you, because it can lead down thorny paths.

I want to leave you gentle reader with some pleasant thoughts. Cartoons. I love cartoons, but I always had some random thoughts about them. Don't get all hostile if you have heard this before - I am not a genius and other people can make the same observations that I have. First off, why does Donald Duck put on a towel after he leaves the shower? He never wears pants. Does his duck cock show when he is wet? Who knows. And do you remember Donald's nephews, Huey, Duey, and Lewey? They would visit Donald and they would visit Uncle Scrooge. However, where the fuck did these duck kids live? Don't they have parents? One more Disney one - Goofy. Goofy is a talking dog. He is also a racist. Why, you ask? Mickey had Pluto, a dog. Goofy never complained, and even pet Pluto on his head. As if saying, I can talk, therefore, I am better than you. Say it ain't say, Goof. I always wanted Tom to catch Jerry and Wily Coyote to catch the Roadrunner - I just did. But then I thought, "where are these animals getting the money to order these weapons and traps? why don't they just go to Denny's?" Finally, the Jetsons piss me off to no end. Elroy went to school and still used pencil and paper - this is future folks - he should doing homework telepathically. They still used paper money - again - it's the future. And, they all had flying cars, but there was always a traffic jam making George late for work or for dinner. George, you have a flying fucking car - go around the jam. In fact, no one should be jammed. Some of my critics say that there has to be order in the future. WRONG! These cars can fly!!!!!

Later all.