Did You Know?

The web is the best place to find useless facts, besides my sick brain. Here are some interesting facts:

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• Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. And yet she has no vagina
  
• The United States government keeps its supply of silver at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY. Anyone up for a trip to New York state - bring a black mask and a rope
  
• The Swiss flag is square. So are the Swiss.
  
• The three largest land-owners in England are the Queen, the Church of England and Trinity College, Cambridge. No wonder they lost the Revolutionary War.
  
• The white part of your fingernail is called the lunula. Wasn't this a joke on Seinfeld?
  
• Emus cannot walk backwards. Neither can some humans
  
• It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear. And some moron spent time figuring this out?
  
• Both writer Edgar Allen Poe and LSD advocate Timothy Leary were kicked out of West Point. Probably because they were trying to find the silver stash.
  
• The only city whose name can be spelled completely with vowels is Aiea, Hawaii, located approximately twelve miles west of Honolulu. The use of the word "whose" is troubling. This is a city, not a human. The correct word would be "that's".
• Parthenogenesis is the term used to describe the process by which certain animals are able to reproduce themselves in successive female generations without intervention of a male of the species. At least one species of lizard is known to do so. They are called lesbians in the human world.
  
• Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. Cats suck!!!
  
• "Quisling" is the only word in the English language to start with "quis." Who is Quisling you ask? He was a Nazi collaborator who ran occupied Norway. If you call a Norwegian a "quisling," be prepared to see these usually docile people kick your ass.
  
• The common goldfish is the only animal that can see both infra-red and ultra-violet light. Big whoop. They have a 5-second memory, so they would forget the cool shit they just saw.
  
• Linn's Stamp News is the world's largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors. Linn has no friends, obviously.
  
• Des Moines has the highest per capita Jello consumption in the U.S. And that jello contains a bit of vodka to numb the pain of living in the most boring city in the U.S.
  
• Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F. Someone actually was bored enought to figure that out.
  
• Camel's milk does not curdle. And it makes great cheese too.
  
• Oliver Cromwell was hanged and decapitated two years after he had died. So, the English have always been a little slow.
  
• Walt Disney's autograph bears no resemblance to the famous Disney logo. And he hated Jews!!
  
• The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. Let's send some mules to Iraq.
  
• Images for picture stamps in the United States are commissioned by the United States Postal Service Department of Philatelic Fulfillment. Sounds like a euphemism for masturbation, but then again, we are talking about stamp collectors.
  
• The lot numbers for the cyanide-tainted Tylenol capsules scare back in 1982 were MC2880 and 1910MD. If you still have Tylenol from 1982, you should take them and leave this world a better place you lazy fuck.
  
• Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds. Smart people in Vermont.
  
• The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. He also had sex with this same horse.
  
• The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself." Then you chug two pints of Guinness and beat your mom up.
  
• Giraffes have no vocal cords. They got a long neck, give them a break.
• Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio. Which is why I think we should kick Ohio out of the Union
  
• A-1 Steak Sauce contains both orange peel and raisins. And other assorted items found in the garbage
  
• The poisonous copperhead smells likefresh cut cucumbers. Which is how they found out the snake was poisonous too.
  
• In Disney's "Fantasia", the Sorcerer's name is "Yensid" (Disney backwards.) Sounds Jewish to me.
• Anne Boleyn had six fingernails on one hand. And no head after marrying the King of England.
  
• A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened. Too easy to do a sexual joke.
• Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". Which is American for "America, Jr."
  
• Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz. Which is why he didn't work for Walt Disney.
  
• Alexander Hamilton was shot by Aaron Burr in the groin. Who shoots a guy in the dick?
  
• Roger Ebert is the only film critic to have ever won the Pulitzer prize. He is also the first to ever eat the Pulitzer Prize.
  
• Cat's urine glows under a blacklight. This was obviously discovered by a pothead.
  
• If you were standing in the northernmost point in the contiguous (48) states, you'd be standing in Minnesota. And wondering what the fuck you were doing there.
  
• The first Ford cars had Dodge engines. Explains why Ford sucks.
  
• The Dodge brothers Horace and John were Jewish, that's why the first Dodge emblem had a star of David in it. Walt Disney never drove a Dodge.
  
• A flea expert is a pullicologist. And certainly not married.
  
• A bear has 42 teeth. You can count them as they eat your appendages - they like that.
  
• The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. Because cats suck.
  
• Charlie Brown's father was a barber. Too bad Charlie was bald.
  
• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intraveinously. Who is trying this out? Honestly. But I hear you can smoke nutmeg
  
• Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union. See, I am not the only one trying to get rid of Ohio.
  
• It is a misdemeanor to kill or threaten a butterfly -- so says City Ordinance No. 352 in Pacific Grove, California. Who threatens a butterfly? Also, I wanna meet the cop who writes a ticket for this - and punch him in the head.
• If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode. What sick bastard found this out?
  
• The Amazon rainforest produces half the world's oxygen supply. Women in the U.S. consume half that oxygen supply.
  
• Reindeer like to eat bananas. A common food found in the Yukon.
  
• Starfish don't have brains. Same as some people I know.
• Shrimps' hearts are in their heads. Same as some people I know.
  
• The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. This is a cartoon, c'mon.
  
• Coca-Cola was originally green. So.
  
• Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. And yet the Treasury plays the game better.
  
• Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. No explanation necessary.