And Baby Makes Two - August 15, 2006

Holy shit dear readers . . . I am writing this Portland, Oregon. Why have I left the safety and sanity and security of the Midwest for the Northwest? Well, I have decided to adopt a kid. No, the kid is not here yet. No, I haven't foregone the idea of getting married - just not in a rush to figure that part of my life out yet.

Before I ruminate on the adoption, let me share some thoughts on Oregon and Oregonians. Driving in Portland is essentially the same as sex on the third date. You are anxious to see what's there, nothing goes right and the signs are confusing, but in the end, you kinda did it right and got where you needed to be. But in all seriousness, it sucks. Every street I saw was a one-way street in one driection or the other. The lights stay green for about 22 seconds. The speed (limit) is 25 just about everywhere. I say "limit" in parenthesis because the signs just read "speed."

The people in Portland are very nice. They talk just like Midwesterners, but they appear to be a little bit afraid of speaking too often. I think this is because they do not want to be confused with California, or maybe Seattle. There are a large number of "homeless" in Portland. Most are young and they beg for change. I tell them to fuck off because hey, I am trying to get a kid and need the money - and these lazy prats seem quite capable of doing any job. I mean, are there no record stores in Portland (surprisingly, I didn't see many record stores - an untapped market for these "homeless" youths).

So, about this kid. I am working with an open adoption agency in town. Open adoption means that the birth parent picks the adoptive parent and the adoptive parents and the birth parents maintain a relationship after the baby is born. I like that idea. Makes the kid know that he was chosen and that his or her birthmother chose the people to raise the kid. I have heard all the lines about being a single male who wants to adopt. Most of my friends have been very great to me about my decision. My mom is a tad against the idea. But, I am old enough not to need her approval and when the grandkid stares her in the eye, she'll melt like butter.

So, that is the beginning of the story. I will share my kid wishes (what kind of kid I want) next time.

Later gators!