Monster-proof Blankets - January 3, 2007

Last night, I was listening to a comedian on Comedy Central. Quite funny, quite large. But he started talking about how he was explaining the well-known theory to his nephew that monsters of any kind cannot hurt, attack, maul, or otherwise drag you to the depths of hell, so long as the only thing sticking out from under your blanket is your head. He was telling a joke, but it spurred me to thinking . . . this is a rather amusing lie that adults perpetuate through time to their children. Just like the Santa Claus story, we pass this fib on from generation to generation. It makes us feel good. It gives that feeling of love, safety, and security to our defenseless and imaginative young ones. Hell, to this day, I still get an occasional freak out when I wake to find my leg dangling over the edge of the bed, not shrouded in any blanket. Thankfully, no slimy, fanged, odd-shaped monstrosity has stolen me away.

But what is really on my mind though is how we could use that blanket today. Hey, when you grow old, the monsters come in new forms . . . alcoholism, racism, faithlessness, rage, ignorance, xenophobia, and even republicanism (and not "republicanism" as in the state of representative democracy, but rather "republicanism" as in a lack of independent political thought). Nothing shields us from it. It gets to us when we are awake, and it gets to us when we are asleep. I wish I could be wrapped in cloth that is stuffed with down feathers, a cloth so strong that I would never have to fear the evils. I want someone else to tuck me in sometimes and say that the monsters can't get through the blanket if you keep everything underneath it.

Wouldn't that be nice? Sure would, but that is not the way of things. Nor would I honestly want to be sheltered from all that is bad. Why? How would know what is good? Something to ponder - fibs we tell our kids . . . monster-proof blankets, Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy, stepping on cracks . . . Aesop would be proud. Enough rambling for now.