Okay, so in my many days of lousy dates and bad relationships, I have clung to a dream. That dream is that I would marry Chicago rocker Liz Phair (a dream that I may never be able to realize). As a side story that dream, I have always had a secret love of singer Lisa Loeb (the one who sang "Stay" from Reality Bites). She's quirky, hip, a beautiful singer, and she is just all-around hot!
Like the answer to a prayer, E! Entertainment Television gives me hope. (The following information is from the Hollywood Reporter, November 15, 2005): Yesterday, E! greenlighted an unscripted series that will follow newly single singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb as she re-enters the dating world. The eight-episode series, titled "#1 Single," will feature Loeb as she moves back to New York and starts dating again for the first time since college. The half-hour series is set to premiere in January. Meanwhile, the Grammy-nominated Loeb said she believes the show will be a way to "connect with more people on a larger scale." "I decided to do this TV series because what I do as a musician and songwriter is connect to an audience, so why not take that to another level," Loeb said. (end credit to Hollywood Reporter)
Okay, so why wasn't I informed of this series so I could be one of the dates. Lisa and I could sing together (I am a karaoke whore). Plus we are both quirky oddballs who are cute enough to get by on that. I will watch the show and critique the losers (who are not me) who try to win her heart.
So, no Liz Phair, and I missed the boat on Lisa Loeb. On to celebrity crush number 3 - Eve Plumb (ya, Jan from the Brady Bunch). Yes, she's hot too, so lump it if ya don't like it.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
Oh God!
Well world, we are in trouble. God is the new Prada for late 2000s. He is everywhere and yet nowhere at the same time. He has been reduced to a catchphrase or bandied about like a volleyball. What has me all tiraded up? Please allow me to begin.
1) Intelligent Design: I for one am a big fan of teaching people as much information as their little brains can store. I believe in evolution and yes, I can reconcile those beliefs with the creation story in the Bible. This is what some would call "intelligent design." However, my thought process is quite a bit deeper than that, pondering such non-evolutionary topics as the soul, how the mind keeps certain secrets, why yellow and blue make green. What the media has come to define "intelligent design" as is really just a thinly veiled attempt to bring creationism into schools. And why shouldn't creationism be taught in schools? I am all for separation of church and state, but if we want to make a bright line rule, then Greek and Roman mythology have to go. I mean, the Greeks and the Romans believed that the earth (Gaia) sprung forth from Chaos and gave birth to the sea (Pontus) and the sky (Uranus). If we can teach our children these stories, why can't we teach them about creationism? Don't we want our children to be critical thinkers and wonder and dream? I do.
2) Michael Newdow - He is an atheist. In 2003, he sued a California school because his daughter was forced to say the Pledge of Allegiance with the phrase "Under God." (Despite the fact that the daughter said she herself had no problem with the pledge.) Yes, the phrase "Under God" was added to the pledge and the phrase "In God We Trust" was added to our money in direct response to the Communist scare of the 1950s. However, it's there. The Court punted Newdow's claim because he was not the custodial parent of the daughter. Now, moments ago, Newdow stated that he was going to sue the U.S. Treasury to have "In God We Trust" removed from our money because it is forcing a religious viewpoint on the population. Here is where I am torn. I love when people challenge our government - it keeps them on their toes. However, I dislike Michael Newdow. He is a media attention whore, in my opinion. He is a failed lawyer, in my opinion. I bet you that Mr. Newdow spends that money whether it has that phrase on it or not. A real atheist trying to stick it to our government wouldn't even use our money. So what do we gain from this lawsuit? More taxpayer money spent on something frivolous because the Court is just going to toss the suit. And Michael Newdow gets more publicity. Hey Mikey, are ya gonna sue Major League Baseball for having singers perform "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch?
3) Bush and the Christian Right - Somehow, George Bush has a direct hotline to God. I can't believe it, but even God must get bored and want a good laugh from time to time. Everything Bush does or says has some twinge of christian conservatism to it. I mean Bush even heard God tell him to invade Iraq because they had WMDs. I have met some people who have had conversations with God. They smell funny (like cheap wine) and are often seen arguing with invisible people miles away. God must be pleased with the new Supreme Court nominee. I would ask Him, but He is apparently playing racquetball with Bush at 4 o'clock today.
4) Weather and Other Disasters - Here are some things God has been accredited with (or blamed for): the World Trade Center disaster, Hurricane Katrina, Oklahoma City bombing, the New England blizzards. Why is He blamed for them or given credit for them? Because we are sinners and we must be punished. We fornicate, we steal, we lie, we cheat, and some of us have relations with the same gender. Get a fucking grip people. God is not punishing people for this. The terrorist attacks were caused by fucked up religious freaks who cant' see people with differences. Katrina was a weather disaster. But Sean, you say, clearly New Orleans was a sinful place and God decided to wash it away. WRONG!!! First of all, the most sinful parts of New Orleans (let us not be throwing stones) were untouched by Katrina. Second, God promised us no more floods and he sealed that promise with the rainbow. See Genesis 9:12-17. I implore the overly religious to read that book (the Bible, in case they don't know to what book I refer) - they just might see that God actually loves us and probably might get a kick out of seeing his name on our greenbacks.
Wow, that was more religious than I planned to be, but sometimes, you gotta shake people up to get some thoughts moving. Add a comment, if you want to say something on this topic.
1) Intelligent Design: I for one am a big fan of teaching people as much information as their little brains can store. I believe in evolution and yes, I can reconcile those beliefs with the creation story in the Bible. This is what some would call "intelligent design." However, my thought process is quite a bit deeper than that, pondering such non-evolutionary topics as the soul, how the mind keeps certain secrets, why yellow and blue make green. What the media has come to define "intelligent design" as is really just a thinly veiled attempt to bring creationism into schools. And why shouldn't creationism be taught in schools? I am all for separation of church and state, but if we want to make a bright line rule, then Greek and Roman mythology have to go. I mean, the Greeks and the Romans believed that the earth (Gaia) sprung forth from Chaos and gave birth to the sea (Pontus) and the sky (Uranus). If we can teach our children these stories, why can't we teach them about creationism? Don't we want our children to be critical thinkers and wonder and dream? I do.
2) Michael Newdow - He is an atheist. In 2003, he sued a California school because his daughter was forced to say the Pledge of Allegiance with the phrase "Under God." (Despite the fact that the daughter said she herself had no problem with the pledge.) Yes, the phrase "Under God" was added to the pledge and the phrase "In God We Trust" was added to our money in direct response to the Communist scare of the 1950s. However, it's there. The Court punted Newdow's claim because he was not the custodial parent of the daughter. Now, moments ago, Newdow stated that he was going to sue the U.S. Treasury to have "In God We Trust" removed from our money because it is forcing a religious viewpoint on the population. Here is where I am torn. I love when people challenge our government - it keeps them on their toes. However, I dislike Michael Newdow. He is a media attention whore, in my opinion. He is a failed lawyer, in my opinion. I bet you that Mr. Newdow spends that money whether it has that phrase on it or not. A real atheist trying to stick it to our government wouldn't even use our money. So what do we gain from this lawsuit? More taxpayer money spent on something frivolous because the Court is just going to toss the suit. And Michael Newdow gets more publicity. Hey Mikey, are ya gonna sue Major League Baseball for having singers perform "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch?
3) Bush and the Christian Right - Somehow, George Bush has a direct hotline to God. I can't believe it, but even God must get bored and want a good laugh from time to time. Everything Bush does or says has some twinge of christian conservatism to it. I mean Bush even heard God tell him to invade Iraq because they had WMDs. I have met some people who have had conversations with God. They smell funny (like cheap wine) and are often seen arguing with invisible people miles away. God must be pleased with the new Supreme Court nominee. I would ask Him, but He is apparently playing racquetball with Bush at 4 o'clock today.
4) Weather and Other Disasters - Here are some things God has been accredited with (or blamed for): the World Trade Center disaster, Hurricane Katrina, Oklahoma City bombing, the New England blizzards. Why is He blamed for them or given credit for them? Because we are sinners and we must be punished. We fornicate, we steal, we lie, we cheat, and some of us have relations with the same gender. Get a fucking grip people. God is not punishing people for this. The terrorist attacks were caused by fucked up religious freaks who cant' see people with differences. Katrina was a weather disaster. But Sean, you say, clearly New Orleans was a sinful place and God decided to wash it away. WRONG!!! First of all, the most sinful parts of New Orleans (let us not be throwing stones) were untouched by Katrina. Second, God promised us no more floods and he sealed that promise with the rainbow. See Genesis 9:12-17. I implore the overly religious to read that book (the Bible, in case they don't know to what book I refer) - they just might see that God actually loves us and probably might get a kick out of seeing his name on our greenbacks.
Wow, that was more religious than I planned to be, but sometimes, you gotta shake people up to get some thoughts moving. Add a comment, if you want to say something on this topic.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Did You Know . . . Part 3
I still get requests for more stupid facts, but I think maybe some people just like the smart ass comments I make. So here goes:
- One-fourth of the world's population lives on less than $200 a year. Yes, and they are all customer service reps for American companies.
- Ninety million people survive on less than $75 a year. We are obviously overpaying a certain percentage of the population.
- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words. Fuck you is the shortest response to someone who uses words like this.
- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. Honestly, who is tracking this? I doubt the Transportation Safety Administration is, so it must be the American Donkey Association of America.
- The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start. Okay, this fact is just wrong. North America? South America? You can't cheat and remove the North or South! There are 7 continents. But this works for the other 5.
- Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him or her every time. Or just outrun your friend.
- If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. You want to try this as much as I do.
- A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top. See what you can learn when you are completely drunk!
- All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. Potheads.
- The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe. It's called "number sign", you pretentious ass.
- On the cartoon show 'The Jetsons', Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15. Jane was obviously a slut.
- The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F. Just like most car horns. This music guy must just test everything and say, "yep, that's the key of F"
- Mr. Snuffleupagas' first name was Alyoisus. If you know this much about Sesame Street, you are either gay or a pedophile or have no friends, maybe all 3.
Church Signs
You ever drive down the road and see funny church signs (or see ones that you could make funny by changing a few letters)? Well, there is a website that now allows you to make your own signs (www.churchsigngenerator.com)
Here is mine:
Friday, November 04, 2005
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