Why Do We Leave Our Hand on the Stove?

Cages or wings? Which do you prefer? Have you shackled your own self to conceptual versions of reality that you clung to once but no longer wish to envision anymore? Not really sure where I am going with these thoughts, but I can certainly tell you that I am enjoying the challenges of this round of self-discovery. In part because it's actual self-re-discovery for me. In part because I have had some really intellectual and sarcastic conversations with people I know. Seminary class (on the parables of Jesus) has also pulled a spiritual growth for me into the mix. All in all, when I clear my head, I won't be some monstrosity to fear. I will likely be a little different, but my personality has not and will not change. Sean remains through it all. What is even better is that I have been writing more. I spent time with my high school choir teacher and we jotted out this cool piano duet (I may play it at church sometime because it blends two cool styles - my teacher writes connectively whereas I write radially). Anyways, I miss my youth group - I haven't led youth group since June 13, and with holidays and family camp, we won't have youth group until July 18. It was suggested that we go see Evan Almighty this weekend - we may do that.

Fear or love, baby - don't say the answer. Actions speak louder than words!

Jump Back to Me Anytime

A lot has been weighing on me lately. Crazy trial schedules and appointments as the lawyer for children. Youth group imploded and I let it happen - cost me some youth - but nothing is perfect (and I expected that I would have a flop youth meeting at least once this year). My family is still family with all the quirks that they have. And with all that, I am still trying to figure out who I am. I hit a point in life where I needed to redefine. I think that is what makes my job with youth ministry a bit easier - the youth are all finding themselves and where they are going in life. I have the benefit of my years of experience to guide me. So, when we all talk, they get a sense that I know what they are going through.

I sat down and gave a more thoughtful prayer than I usually do. I don't do formal prayers, outside of church. I pray as I go, praise as it happens, reach out as the event is occuring. I imagine God saying, "Sean, breathe. Take a moment, write it all down, then call me." It's just me - impatience is something that's part of me. It's not that I don't know how to wait. I just want to move forward on it if I can. I wrote this one down and asked God to shine a little light on things for me - give me a general idea where to take things. He hasn't let me down so far in my life, so it's a safe bet I won't be lead astray.

Anyways, this wasn't meant to be a preachy blog or even a prayerful one. It's a placeholder to remind me to get myself back on track. Trials come and go. Youth meetings should flow, not be carved out. Family is a good thing. It's a reminder that I have something to do still - and when I figure it all out, it will be a pretty cool picture. I just wish that one friend was there to give me the "cheerleading" words that I used to get from him. I miss that.