Every so often, I post a list of weird/odd/strange facts (and add my personal commentary to those facts). Hey, I admit that I am a huge nerd with an unusual amount of spare time on my hands (given my activity schedule). So, here goes:
Scientists believe that a meat-eating plant lives underground with no direct sunlight. (This just in - scientists believe that the moon is made of green cheese)
Monkeys fling feces at each other when agitated. (Which is where we get the phrase "throwing a shit fit")
Yawns are a way of communication. They don't signal that you are tired, but rather you want to do something different now. (Like reading another blog)
Killer whales capture fish by slapping them. (Funny, that's how I keep people away from me)
A shrimp's heart is in its head. (Republicans' heads are in their butts)
A ducks quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. (LIAR! Mythbusters busted this!!!!)
A cockroach can live for several weeks without its head. (So can Republicans)
Elephants can't jump. (Did anyone ever think they could, c'mon)
The oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old. (Eve had to have something after the apple)
More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world. (And real money is spent just like monopoly money - nothing backing it and we can just print more later or steal it from the bank)
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Sadly though, he no longer could reproduce after that discovery)
Walt Disney was afraid of mice. (and Jews)
Ted Turner owns 5 percent of New Mexico. (Half of which went to Jane Fonda in the divorce)
Polar bears are left-handed. (The scientist who found this out is dead, and was related to the inventor of the microwave)
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (Because we eat pennies)
Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school. (Neither did George Bush, what's your point?)
A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't. (Who is experimenting with animals in this way?)
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. (Go ahead and do it, the blog will be here when you get back)
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. (Unless you crash near quicksand, then you will be fine)
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Sooner or Later
lyrics by Michael Tolcher:
"Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
Try not to say anything weird
Save your questions without answers
'Til your old enough to know that things ain't as they appeared
Before you go out in the sun
Cover your skin and don't get burned
Beware the cancer, it might kill you when you're old
Be first in line, raise your hand
Remember everything you hear
And playing in the rain is worth catching cold
We only want what's best for you
That's why we tell you what to do
And nevermind if nothing makes sense
'Cause it all works out in the end
You're just like us without a friend
But you can build a privacy fence Yeah
Somethings you have to learn them all on your own
You can't rely on anybody else
Or the point of view of a source unknown
If it feels good and sounds nice
Then it's your choice don't doubt yourself
Don't even think twice
Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
You know they like it when you smile Find a reason to smile
Try not to focus on yourself
Share that love with someone else
Don't let the bitters bring you down
Don't let anything bring you down"
This song has been running through my head the past week. I listen to it and think about the advice I have always gotten from adults in my life when I was much younger. And I remember thinking, 'what do they know' or 'why won't they just answer me,' and it bugged me. Sometimes adults would give me platitudes, such as 'you'll know when you are older.' Well, I am older, and guess what, I still don't know. I don't know why bad things still happen. I don't know why people focus on hurting others with words or weapons. I don't know what I am quick to anger the moment I get behind the wheel of a car.
Sometimes adults, especially my mom, would give me blanket advice, like 'never let anyone tell you that you can't.' Yep, hold my head high and stand strong in the face of objections, ridicule, pressure, arrogance, or anger. It's tough when someone calls you out and tells you they think you got it all wrong, or when they flat out disagree, or when they try to convince you of something other than what you believe. Kinda difficult to do, but I keep this quote close to my heart, 'character means standing up for something, even it means you stand alone.'
Then, when I was in college, I joined a fraternity. I was a youngster, and an older member in the house, when I was particularly stressed about soccer, school, and the house, sat me down and showed me a plaque that his dad gave him. It carried this simple message: IN THE RACE TO BE BETTER OR BEST, DO NOT MISS THE JOY OF BEING. Of all the advice I have gotten, most of it became hardwired into who I am (manners, compassion, measure twice cut once, and so on), this nugget is something I have to remind myself of. It is easy to get wrapped up in the pursuits of life, but what really matters is this wonderful gift of just being alive. And we didn't have to do anything to get it. It came free.
So, sooner or later, we will find the answer to everything. Sooner or later, we will think about one another. Sooner or later, we will figure out just who we are. And sooner or later, I will stop yelling when I am driving.
"Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
Try not to say anything weird
Save your questions without answers
'Til your old enough to know that things ain't as they appeared
Before you go out in the sun
Cover your skin and don't get burned
Beware the cancer, it might kill you when you're old
Be first in line, raise your hand
Remember everything you hear
And playing in the rain is worth catching cold
We only want what's best for you
That's why we tell you what to do
And nevermind if nothing makes sense
'Cause it all works out in the end
You're just like us without a friend
But you can build a privacy fence Yeah
Somethings you have to learn them all on your own
You can't rely on anybody else
Or the point of view of a source unknown
If it feels good and sounds nice
Then it's your choice don't doubt yourself
Don't even think twice
Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
You know they like it when you smile Find a reason to smile
Try not to focus on yourself
Share that love with someone else
Don't let the bitters bring you down
Don't let anything bring you down"
This song has been running through my head the past week. I listen to it and think about the advice I have always gotten from adults in my life when I was much younger. And I remember thinking, 'what do they know' or 'why won't they just answer me,' and it bugged me. Sometimes adults would give me platitudes, such as 'you'll know when you are older.' Well, I am older, and guess what, I still don't know. I don't know why bad things still happen. I don't know why people focus on hurting others with words or weapons. I don't know what I am quick to anger the moment I get behind the wheel of a car.
Sometimes adults, especially my mom, would give me blanket advice, like 'never let anyone tell you that you can't.' Yep, hold my head high and stand strong in the face of objections, ridicule, pressure, arrogance, or anger. It's tough when someone calls you out and tells you they think you got it all wrong, or when they flat out disagree, or when they try to convince you of something other than what you believe. Kinda difficult to do, but I keep this quote close to my heart, 'character means standing up for something, even it means you stand alone.'
Then, when I was in college, I joined a fraternity. I was a youngster, and an older member in the house, when I was particularly stressed about soccer, school, and the house, sat me down and showed me a plaque that his dad gave him. It carried this simple message: IN THE RACE TO BE BETTER OR BEST, DO NOT MISS THE JOY OF BEING. Of all the advice I have gotten, most of it became hardwired into who I am (manners, compassion, measure twice cut once, and so on), this nugget is something I have to remind myself of. It is easy to get wrapped up in the pursuits of life, but what really matters is this wonderful gift of just being alive. And we didn't have to do anything to get it. It came free.
So, sooner or later, we will find the answer to everything. Sooner or later, we will think about one another. Sooner or later, we will figure out just who we are. And sooner or later, I will stop yelling when I am driving.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
West Side Story
Last night at youth group, we were talking about social justice, changing the world, and being good to one another. Well, the kids discussed the problem of a rivalry that has been brewing between two high schools in the area - North and South. Jokingly, because the town where we all live is very suburban, I joked about West Side Story and the rivalry in that movie between the Jets and the Sharks. But, it has turned somewhat serious. One side is mad at the other side over what may have been a fight over a girl - you know, typical anger issues for teens. But is has escalated into a mob of one school vs. a mob of the other. Last week, these schools had some sort of altercation that resulted for certain with one child going to the emergency room due to a broken tooth.
We often think that suburbia is immune from "gang" violence. That "it couldn't happen here" mentality rises up. But, it does happen. Two years ago, a young man from the St. Charles area was killed in a fight between two rival schools. We enrobe ourselves with the false comfort that our children do not act like the children we read about in urban areas. We think we are immune to violence and evil.
My questions are simple (and I have the luxury of asking, since I don't have any kids yet and it's my blog):
1) Where are the parents? When the first incident occurred, did the parents just gloss over it?
2) Where are the school administrators? Are they even aware of this problem? Were they too engrossed in the school board elections?
3) Where was I? I have youth from both schools in youth group. I first learned of it last night. Was there something I missed? I don't think any of the youth from our youth group are involved, but jeez, were my blinders on too?
I hope that the youth who read this will think before they engage in violence, and they will choose restraint over reaction, and that they will come to the adults in their lives for guidance. I have visited a youth in the hospital because of illness; I certainly do not want to visit a youth in the hospital because of senseless violence.
We often think that suburbia is immune from "gang" violence. That "it couldn't happen here" mentality rises up. But, it does happen. Two years ago, a young man from the St. Charles area was killed in a fight between two rival schools. We enrobe ourselves with the false comfort that our children do not act like the children we read about in urban areas. We think we are immune to violence and evil.
My questions are simple (and I have the luxury of asking, since I don't have any kids yet and it's my blog):
1) Where are the parents? When the first incident occurred, did the parents just gloss over it?
2) Where are the school administrators? Are they even aware of this problem? Were they too engrossed in the school board elections?
3) Where was I? I have youth from both schools in youth group. I first learned of it last night. Was there something I missed? I don't think any of the youth from our youth group are involved, but jeez, were my blinders on too?
I hope that the youth who read this will think before they engage in violence, and they will choose restraint over reaction, and that they will come to the adults in their lives for guidance. I have visited a youth in the hospital because of illness; I certainly do not want to visit a youth in the hospital because of senseless violence.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Say What?
Once upon a time (when I was in law school), I worked as a DJ at a radio station. The most fun thing on the 3 am shift was to answer requests from people who could only quote (in an inaccurate way) lyrics to the song. My favorites misstated lyrics included: "Once more it's a naked love" (Pride - In the Name of Love by U2); "Another turnip, boy, a Ford stuck in the road" (Time of Your Life by Green Day); and "Bought an old house on the dance floor" (Old Apartment by Barenaked Ladies). There are tons more and if you want to have a good laugh, go check out http://kissthisguy.com. It is a website diarying misheard lyrics. Where did the title come from? Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix. The actual lyric is "Excuse me while I kiss the sky." It is often misheard, and oddly misheard, as "Excuse me, while I kiss this guy."
Language is a very funny thing. Conveys emotions. Memorializes history. Directs us to do or not do certain things. And when language is misheard or misinterpreted, it can lead to the following: war, theft, anger, death, mistrust, and isolation. I wish that only humor resulted from misheard language. I wish that George Bush wouldn't mishear Congress' call for an end date in Iraq. I wish that other nations wouldn't mishear our words to imply that we want to run the world. I wish that my words would not be misheard - when I say Guantanamo is wrong, I do not mean that we should not protect our country. What I mean is that no person should be deprived of life or liberty without due process of law (see our 5th Amendment to the US Constitution). Person means any person, not just a citizen of the US.
I wish that Scripture wasn't misheard to suggest that God condones violence in the name of religion. As my pastor has told me, and I desparately try to follow, the two greatest commandments are: Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and body; and Love your neighbor as yourself. Sadly, even these commandments are misheard.
In the mean time, bum around the misheard lyrics website and have a laugh today.
Language is a very funny thing. Conveys emotions. Memorializes history. Directs us to do or not do certain things. And when language is misheard or misinterpreted, it can lead to the following: war, theft, anger, death, mistrust, and isolation. I wish that only humor resulted from misheard language. I wish that George Bush wouldn't mishear Congress' call for an end date in Iraq. I wish that other nations wouldn't mishear our words to imply that we want to run the world. I wish that my words would not be misheard - when I say Guantanamo is wrong, I do not mean that we should not protect our country. What I mean is that no person should be deprived of life or liberty without due process of law (see our 5th Amendment to the US Constitution). Person means any person, not just a citizen of the US.
I wish that Scripture wasn't misheard to suggest that God condones violence in the name of religion. As my pastor has told me, and I desparately try to follow, the two greatest commandments are: Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and body; and Love your neighbor as yourself. Sadly, even these commandments are misheard.
In the mean time, bum around the misheard lyrics website and have a laugh today.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Holy Spirit, Batman
When I was a tad younger, I loved to watch repeats of the Batman TV series, which, although I am old, was in reruns while I was watching. Aside from the overacting, odd villians, and cartoon "kapows," I remember Robin always saying "Holy [something], Batman." It was usually tied to something they encountered, such as if they were fighting at a fashion show and a crew of thugs came in, Robin would quip, "Holy Runway Models, Batman." Now, as I am rambling on, there is a point.
This week at confirmation, we have been teaching the Book of Acts, also referred to as the Acts of the Apostles. This is the foundation and story of the early church. It is hard to wrap my mind around how it must have been in those early days, how difficult to gather everyone together and teach. But, I am thinking of the Holy Spirit and how it plays the center role in the early church. Pentecost - universal translating the language, baptism by fire, yup that's the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit somehow gets forgotten in the shuffle. The triune God, three parts of one whole - where would God be without God, the Holy Spirit. Called the giver of life.
What does the Holy Spirit mean to us? I wish I could answer that in a truly meaningful way. Sadly, I just don't know about the Holy Spirit. We often overlook the role of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity. To be honest, as I said, I really only think of the Holy Spirit in the story of Pentecost, or when I recite the Apostles' Creed, or when the dove descends upon Jesus. I remember in art history that the Holy Spirit is portrayed as a dove. Hardly a true understanding of the Holy Spirit. What do I do then? I think I will utter the words, "Holy Spirit, Batman" and take this year to study the Holy Spirit and what it means to my faith. Jeepers, I will just have to figure out where to begin.
This week at confirmation, we have been teaching the Book of Acts, also referred to as the Acts of the Apostles. This is the foundation and story of the early church. It is hard to wrap my mind around how it must have been in those early days, how difficult to gather everyone together and teach. But, I am thinking of the Holy Spirit and how it plays the center role in the early church. Pentecost - universal translating the language, baptism by fire, yup that's the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit somehow gets forgotten in the shuffle. The triune God, three parts of one whole - where would God be without God, the Holy Spirit. Called the giver of life.
What does the Holy Spirit mean to us? I wish I could answer that in a truly meaningful way. Sadly, I just don't know about the Holy Spirit. We often overlook the role of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity. To be honest, as I said, I really only think of the Holy Spirit in the story of Pentecost, or when I recite the Apostles' Creed, or when the dove descends upon Jesus. I remember in art history that the Holy Spirit is portrayed as a dove. Hardly a true understanding of the Holy Spirit. What do I do then? I think I will utter the words, "Holy Spirit, Batman" and take this year to study the Holy Spirit and what it means to my faith. Jeepers, I will just have to figure out where to begin.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
The Calling
Okay, it was Pack the Place Night tonight at youth group, and we had a boatload of kids. Why is this important? Well, I had to make sure the kids were well supervised, which means I didn't have my cell phone on me. So, at 5:37 pm (yes, that is what the voicemail said), Open Adoption & Family Services in Seattle called me to let me know that they have a screening call for me. This means that the potential baby could be: a) a girl, b) the child of birthmother who used drugs or alcohol, c) of a different ethnicity, or d) I don't know. Am I excited? Totally, this is the first step in a possible adoption - very cool feeling. However, part of me is still keeping my cards close to the vest - no need to build up my hopes for something that is nebulous right now. Things often happen when you least expect it. Some cliches never go out of style.
No matter how hard I try, I keep imagining the whole dad thing going on. Baseball games, parenting, babyproofing a house, and so on. What about a name? I know I had said "Benjamin Adam" if it's a boy. However, I like the name "Joshua Adam" for a boy, so that is what I am naming him. If it's a girl, I am going with "Bailey Abigail."
But for now, I play the waiting game. And, after the screening call, it could still turn out that this birthmother or birthparents pick another person or couple. Say a prayer for me.
No matter how hard I try, I keep imagining the whole dad thing going on. Baseball games, parenting, babyproofing a house, and so on. What about a name? I know I had said "Benjamin Adam" if it's a boy. However, I like the name "Joshua Adam" for a boy, so that is what I am naming him. If it's a girl, I am going with "Bailey Abigail."
But for now, I play the waiting game. And, after the screening call, it could still turn out that this birthmother or birthparents pick another person or couple. Say a prayer for me.
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